Self-care In Times of Challenge

“SELF-CARE DOESN’T BEGIN WHEN THE SHIT HITS THE FAN.”

A Little Tale of Timely Self-Care Habits and Wellbeing Routines

I was recently in the South-east of Ireland on a three day job. As a self-employed business owner, I’m pretty good at planning and so factored in the mileage, cost of diesel, tolls etc., there and back. Peachy.

On the way home, after 10:30pm on a Friday night, the realisation dawned that I didn’t have enough diesel to get back to Navan in Co. Meath. Not a major issue, I’d just stop and fill up.

EXCEPT……..

It was 10:30pm. I was on the N11 out of Wexford. Every single service station was closed! They’d all closed at 10pm. Aaarrrrgh!

As I neared Gorey I was really dipping into fumes at that point and thought a) I don’t have enough to get me to the far side of the town, for the new Gorey 24-hr Motorway Services, and b) if I come off at Gorey in the hope of finding somewhere open, that’s me done if there isn’t a refuelling stop!

Reconnaissance and The Saves

In my head I did a quick inventory of the car. As I was going to be away for a few days, I’d brought the moggies with me on their holidays. They travel well and are no trouble so that was fine. They are also very warm, love body heat and dislike their travel carriers so would be only too delighted to snuggle. Save #1!

I also always travel with a couple of blankets in the car. A throw back to days of travelling with a smallie myself and a little hark back to the ‘car blanket’ that always lived in the family car when I was growing up – ideal for picnics, chilly evenings and sleepy kids. Save #2!

In my overnight bag I had a comfy hoodie for sitting out in the summer evenings, and enough clothing to be able to pad out the back seat, over the seatbelt clasps – IYKYK. Save #3!

I’d prepped for travelling home, so the water bottle was filled. I also had in my keep cup, the remnants of the cuppa I’d brought with me for the journey home. Save #4!

Another staple in my car are tissues, wipes, plastic bags, sanitiser, and a whole collection of other useful bits and pieces like a torch, and battery-operated fan. Save #5!

At this point it would probably be fair to mention that I love to camp, own tents and a caravan and also work at field festivals during my gypsy summers.

Having done that quick ‘recon’ of my current ‘situation’ as I took Exit 23 into Gorey I had reconciled myself to the fact if nowhere was open, I’d be sleeping for a few hours, in the forecourt of a garage somewhere.

Not the end of the world, but it was better than being stuck on the side of the motorway, where I’d have to get out of the car for safety and possibly have the hassle of having to be towed.

Mortification. I can see it somewhere on social media now, “Silly female driver runs out of diesel on motorway at night!” That would seriously irk me.

Is this Sinead on another meandering musing?

So why am I telling you about this? Afterall, I could have said nothing and saved myself the embarrassment.

It’s for two reasons.

Reason One is to talk about self-care.

How many times have you become completely rundown in the aftermath of an unexpected challenge in life?

Has anyone reading this NEVER been caught off guard and NEVER had to deal with a curve ball?

When the chips are down, what is in your toolkit to help you through?

Do you even know?

Self-care is hugely about self-awareness.

If you can’t acknowledge and recognise your own limitations, then how can you possibly prepare for self-care when things are tough.

Being aware of ourselves, our skills, our abilities and our limits is so important in being able to mind ourselves when overworked, overwhelmed, overstretched and overburdened.

Self-care doesn’t begin when the shit hits the fan. It begins long before hand and becomes a toolkit habit that we can dip further into when we really need it.

What Does Providing Self-care Look Like?

People will often ask “Well how can I provide self-care to myself, when I only realise I need it when I’m under pressure?” It’s a great question and one that doesn’t have a single answer.

If I’m pressed to give you one, it’s to have a plan. And have another one in case that first one doesn’t work. You can even go so far as to have another one too.

I’m not talking about doomsday planning.

I’m talking about putting a few things in place that cover you for a while, at least to take the edge of the hurt until you can rally the troops or figure out your next move.

What Might a Plan Look Like?

For example, for me as a car owner and someone who often finds themselves in a field devoid of basic resources, my car is usually equipped as a matter of course, not as a last minute thought.

For your body, as a human, this means trying your best to keep your body in good working order, equipped with the necessary essentials to be able to give you a buffer when shit hits. That means: –

being properly hydrated as a daily thing
knowing how to take a really deep, cleansing breath when you need to catch yourself and take a minute to self-regulate
having a go-to plan when you’re undertaking something that has the potential to test you
having a contingency plan for when the go-to isn’t enough or hits a snag
taking care of the essentials of life, like regular meals scheduled, advance food prep, freezer stash, or dinner ding as we call it in this house, water bottles to hand, sitters on speed-dial, animal carers, functioning spare tyre, extra bulbs (in the car, at home, wherever), spare cables etc., you know the kind of thing I’m talking about
being on top of your health concerns, going to the GP when its needed, taking time out for a bit of exercise, having your meds in-house before you run out
a personal favourite having Lysine and Biopropilis to hand in case it’s needed because I know exactly how stress impacts my body

Now this might all sound like a lot of organisation but it’s really not. Having the habit of taking care of yourself, eventually means it becomes second nature.

It ensures YOU are taking care of caring for you. It really helps with establishing boundaries in all sorts of ways too and it means when the shit hits the fan, you can cope.

So back to my meandering musing

I have clients who come in for monthly reflexology treatments. They have their calendar set up and mine, so they have their appointments in the diary two and sometimes three months ahead.

This way they KNOW no matter what else is going on, they have a space to breathe, to receive some care and to take the time to ponder on life and how they’re getting on, or simply switch off.

Sometimes, there’ll be chat.

Sometimes, there might be a bit of sorting out of thoughts, which as a human sounding board, I’m always happy to absorb and reflect back.

Sometimes there will be complete silence, other than the soothing music I use during sessions which emulates the heartbeat and allows the client to drift off into a lovely soft space of warmth, comfort and peacefulness.

That is filling their cup, tooling up the toolkit habit and prepping their nervous system for occasional overload. It means they are able to keep going, relatively calmly and the after-effects are not too disastrous.

Perhaps you could benefit from adding a holistic, touch therapy treatment to your calendar as a regular tool for self-care and remember, as a pretty good planner, I can always help you to reschedule an appointment booked months in advance, if something happens that means you can’t make it.

I’ll let you in on a little secret though, when it’s booked frequently, and in advance, everyone and everything else actually works around you and your plans. That’s a win-win!

Check out the various touch therapy services that are available here.

If you don’t quite know what you need, maybe the first thing you need is some Headspace. You can book a Headspace Session here.

Oh, You’re Still Here?

What’s That?

You want to know did I sleep in a forecourt?

Ah!

For those of you wondering, no, I didn’t end up sleeping in a garage forecourt.

I made it home safely.

The how I managed that? Well that’s Reason Two and a story for another day…

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